I Am Trying To Break Your Sex Laws #7

“When hosting a creampie gangbang how many men does it take for the spectacle to stop being hot and become grotesque?” – Dar Tusc

Well Dar, I hope this helps answer your question.

Slow Jam

There’s a science in coaxing Twinkies toward feeding your darkest desires. First, you use only your right thumb to open the box, your thumbnail just sharp enough to lap and chew through the cardboard, each muscle moving your thumb a grain of sand in an hourglass made of ecstasy. Next, you take out the packet, looking into where you think their wanton eyes are, your eyes saying “I promise to take it slow.” You open the pack carefully, with your teeth. You put the open pack down, take ten steps back. You turn around and walk forward, singing Sade’s “No Ordinary Love”, brandishing your forearms and hips while emoting “This. Is. No. Ordinary. Love”. Other days, you may sing throatily “Against All Odds” as you walk back your prey, fly open. Remember after to wash thoroughly. Remember after to resist devouring the evidence.

Got a sex/dating question you need answered? E-mail J. Bradley here.