“Cake” by Tim Candler
Titles become important though time. They age like cheese and are then handed down through inheritance or given away as reward, and sometimes in order to satisfy yearning titles are simply invented. And, perhaps, those who possess titles prefer to think of them as having been earned.
Which probably is why the triumvirate who laid off some of us less enthusiastic mail order retail employees began the meeting with a rather long drawn out who’s who discussion of titles, designed I guess, to promote a sense in us that we were in the presence of the mighty and our departure would be honorable and through the front door. And just before the lunch break, so that our disappearance from the roles of gainfully employed might be deemed mysterious rather than as a petty example to those still competing for title.
So I’ll call her the Duchess, because amongst her remarks, she told us that this wasn’t “goodbye,” rather we were to think of it as “adieu”, which she explained was a French word, that meant something along the lines of farewell or see you later. One of her audience offered “mañana,” but the Duchess paid no heed and I suspect that her understanding of mañana likely stems from experience with gardeners for whom the word has long been the polite way of saying ‘probably no’.
Then, while the Lord of Outbound and the Prince of Inbound gave us a few statistics on the magnificent voyage of their Fulfillment Center through peak season, the Duchess handed out gift cards redeemable at the grocery store, and these she told us could be used for “food or gas.” With my five dollar gift card I intend to buy cake, or maybe a shrimp.